![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I have a problem. There are many times during which a person who I am talking to misunderstands what I'm saying to them. This person then responds to what they think I said, and they refuse to slow down and listen when I try to correct their mistake. As I persist in trying to correct them, instead of listening and processing, they express frustration and tell me that it's impossible to say anything to me because I will always get upset.
I can't even begin to understand how it is that they misunderstood.
I can't even begin to understand why we are such different tracks. I don't want to go along with what they're saying, when I know that they're off-track, because they misunderstood what I said and therefore any conclusion they reach is baseless to me.
The person today is my mother, although the problem is not restricted to her. Today, this brought me to the point of tears. Not because I am making a big deal about the topic of the conversation we were having, which isn't that important. But because I am helpless. I'm not only talking about the misunderstanding. I'm talking about how they not only misunderstand, but they insist on continuing to misunderstand by basing their response on that misunderstanding, not listening to a word of what I have to say, and then jumping to accusations about how difficult I am, how I'm unwilling to let other people speak or listen to them, when they're the ones who have no clue. So the misunderstanding turns into a bigger misunderstanding that revolves around my alleged bad attitude (because I know I often behave in a way that gives off that kind of vibe, even though I'm not). I don't know how to avoid their accusations, let alone their initial misunderstandings, it seems.
How do I avoid these things? Do I hear them out even if they misunderstood me, and then correct them? How can I avoid seeming like I have a bad attitude when I correct their interpretations of my words and behavior when we are having a disagreement? How do I not make a disagreement worse? How do I avoid the helplessness at the end of each failed attempt to communicate?
I can't even begin to understand how it is that they misunderstood.
I can't even begin to understand why we are such different tracks. I don't want to go along with what they're saying, when I know that they're off-track, because they misunderstood what I said and therefore any conclusion they reach is baseless to me.
The person today is my mother, although the problem is not restricted to her. Today, this brought me to the point of tears. Not because I am making a big deal about the topic of the conversation we were having, which isn't that important. But because I am helpless. I'm not only talking about the misunderstanding. I'm talking about how they not only misunderstand, but they insist on continuing to misunderstand by basing their response on that misunderstanding, not listening to a word of what I have to say, and then jumping to accusations about how difficult I am, how I'm unwilling to let other people speak or listen to them, when they're the ones who have no clue. So the misunderstanding turns into a bigger misunderstanding that revolves around my alleged bad attitude (because I know I often behave in a way that gives off that kind of vibe, even though I'm not). I don't know how to avoid their accusations, let alone their initial misunderstandings, it seems.
How do I avoid these things? Do I hear them out even if they misunderstood me, and then correct them? How can I avoid seeming like I have a bad attitude when I correct their interpretations of my words and behavior when we are having a disagreement? How do I not make a disagreement worse? How do I avoid the helplessness at the end of each failed attempt to communicate?